Desperate Housewives season 2

Mike’s surprised to see Zach with a gun, but Susan tries to take control of the situation, leading to Zach running out of the house and Susan becoming injured. At the hospital, Susan tells a police officer about evil Zach but privately Mike suggests to the officer that Susan exaggerated what happened; Julie overhears this and tells Susan, who confronts Mike. Mike and Susan go to the morgue to identify a body that may be Zach’s, but to Mike’s relief, it’s not Zach. Susan realizes that Zach is Mike’s child and Mike admits this. Later, Susan informs Mike that she can’t live with him because of Zach.

Bree asks Betty to play the organ at Rex’s funeral, and she accepts. Matthew tells Danielle he lost his father, too, but Betty calls Matthew on his lie and says he should leave the cleverness to Betty. After the funeral, Betty and Matthew take a tray of food down to someone in the basement -- but Matthew has to take a gun with him. Who are they keeping captive down there?

Lynette prepares for a job interview but she’s worried as she’s been away from business for 7 years. At the interview, her interviewer, Nina, doesn’t like it when Lynette reveals she has 4 kids, though Lynette stresses her husband will be taking care of the kids. But when Tom throws out his back just as Lynette’s going to her followup interview, Lynette’s forced to take baby Penny with her. She almost screws up the interview thanks to her focus on Penny, but after she proves she can multitask by changing Penny’s diaper while giving a speech about plans for the company, she gets the job.

John tries to get Gabrielle back but she tosses him out of her house. At the prison, Gabrielle tries to make things up with Carlos but he has one big demand: a paternity test. Rather than getting a test herself, Gabrielle steals the results from someone else and tells Carlos, but he doesn’t appear to think it’s enough.

Bree tells the other women about Rex’s death. Her mother-in-law Phyllis Van De Kamp shows up, sobbing melodramatically. Later, she wants Rex to wear an orange tie at the funeral, but Bree insists that won’t happen. When Bree and Phyllis argue with the reverend over the details of Rex’s funeral, Bree uninvites her mother-in-law from the funeral. Andrew and Danielle convince Bree to have a change of heart about this, and Bree and Phyllis appear to make up. But when Bree sees that Phyllis has put the orange tie on Rex’s body, Bree makes a scene at the funeral by taking Tom’s tie from him and putting it on Rex.

Susan learns that her ex-husband Karl is sleeping with Edie; later, Julie reveals Karl and Edie have been dating for months. They may even be moving in together! Susan tells Mike she wants to keep their relationship casual, but pulls away from getting hot and heavy with him. After Edie brags to Susan that Karl thought sex with Edie was the best he’s ever had, Susan one ups her rival by noting that Karl wanted to reunite with Susan! As Edie uses her roller skates to follow Susan as she drives away, Susan accidentally backed into Edie with her car.

When Phyllis makes a point of grieving in public, Bree becomes tired of her mother-in-law’s antics, and slaps Phyllis! Phyllis suspects Bree is glad Rex is gone. Meanwhile, Rex’s doctor tells the insurance investigator about the note Rex left forgiving Bree. Phyllis calls the insurance investigator after seeing Bree and George in a close hug, and the investigator starts to probe into whether Bree killed Rex.

Gabrielle’s frustrated that Carlos still controls her bank accounts. But it’s Carlos with the major problem: unless Gabrielle pays an inmate’s girlfriend $7,000, the inmate will attack Carlos! Gabrielle delivers the money but after learning the girlfriend doesn’t want to use the money for breast implants, Gabrielle pockets the money. Carlos is beaten because of this, and he must agree to give Gabrielle control of the money before she’ll take the money back to the woman.

Lynette comes home to find a messy house; Tom didn’t even change the bed after Penny threw up in it! Mad at her husband, Lynette sleeps on the couch. Later, she comes home with a rat, which she places within the messy house. After work, Lynette comes home and finds the house is spotless, but the rat is dead! Lynette thanks the dead rat for helping her marriage.

Susan questions Betty about the noises from inside the Applewhite home, but Susan catches Betty in a lie about it being Matthew’s fault. Betty tells a psychiatrist a story about why she has insomnia, and he gives her sleeping pills, which she proceeds to put in her captive’s food to keep him quiet.

Bree learns Rex’s body has been dug up because she’s under investigation for Rex’s murder! Bree sends her mother-in-law home, then takes a polygraph test to clear her name. But the test suggests she loves George. Bree has George take the polygraph test and he passes it with flying colors.

Carlos is upset that Gabrielle’s never genuinely apologized for her affair. Gabrielle follows John to his latest job, and learns he’s sleeping with a woman even older than her! She destroys the woman’s bushes, and when John finds Gabrielle, Gabrielle tells him she doesn’t want to be with him again. She goes to Carlos and gives him the apology he wanted.

Lynette’s new boss Nina won’t let Lynette off the hook when Lynette wants time off on Parker’s first day of kindergarten. Lynette uses a remote camera so she can see Parker on his first day, but she keeps getting called away to an important meeting. Desperate, Lynette causes a cup of coffee to spill in Nina’s lap, allowing Lynette time to say goodbye to Parker before he heads to his class.

When their basement prisoner escapes, Betty and Matthew must hit him to get him back to the basement.

Susan’s mad when she learns Edie will be playing the guitar with Julie at a church talent show, so Susan goes to Betty for piano lessons in hopes of taking Edie’s place at the show. After Edie and Susan argue over who will accompany Julie, Julie chooses her mother. At the show, though, after seeing Karl and Edie in the audience, Susan has a change of heart and lets Edie take over. Without her guitar, Edie’s forced to play piano, and she’s no good at it.

Lynette blames her going back to work when Parker develops an imaginary friend named Mrs. Mulberry. She tries, and fails, to convince her son to give up his new friend. She steals the imaginary friend’s umbrella and tosses it away, but when Parker sees the umbrella destroyed by a garbage truck, Parker grieves the loss of his friend. Tom comforts Lynette who fears she’s a bad mother for what she’s done.

Gabrielle starts a prison riot after arguing with Carlos’ lawyer about a conjugal visit. Firing the lawyer, Gabrielle seeks new representation, and she meets David Bradley, who’s immediately interested in her sexually. Gabrielle does succeed in getting a conjugal visit with Carlos.

Susan tells Mike she’s okay with Zach and agrees to help find him. While handing out fliers about Zach, Susan finds him, but he runs away and threatens her with a piece of wood. Returning to Mike, Susan doesn’t tell him what she found. When Susan again finds Zach, she wants to take him to Mike, but learning that Zach still wants Julie leads Susan to give Zach money to go to Utah to search for Paul.

Andrew is not at all pleased to find his mother’s become close friends with George. He doesn’t want to attend dinner with George but Bree forces him to do so. The dinner goes badly. Later, George kisses Bree at Andrew’s swim meet, and a furious Andrew attacks George. Thanks to George’s plan, Bree sends Andrew back to his special camp.

After she threatens to sue the city, Bree gets Rex’s body returned to her and she plans to rebury her husband. When the detective investigating Bree shows her the note Rex wrote before he died, Bree is furious that Rex could think so badly of her, so she has Rex’s body placed in a new grave in a bad part of the cemetery, and she throws away her wedding ring at the same time.

Tired of her boss being so stressed, Lynette takes Nina to a bar, where Nina ends up meeting someone and having sex. The next morning, Nina’s actually nice! Now Lynette’s stuck going with Nina to the bar every night. Tiring of this quickly, Lynette develops a plan: she undresses a bit, flirts with the men, and becomes more popular in the bar than Nina, who’s upset at not getting any more attention.

Susan meets with her good friend and agent Lonnie, who is starting a new agency -- because he’s embezzled money from his clients. Susan wants to stay with him anyway, and Mike tells Susan he doesn’t believe in second chances. This causes Susan to tell Julie what she did with Zach. When Lonnie admits to embezzling Susan’s money, she tells him she can no longer be his agent, and after he tries to kiss her, she runs away.

Carlos doesn’t want David as his lawyer because David looks so handsome. Determined to keep David as Carlos’ lawyer, Gabrielle urges David to insist to Carlos he’s got no interest in Gabrielle. Instead, David tells Carlos he’ll seduce Gabrielle unless Carlos hires David. Carlos takes on David as his lawyer.

Betty learns that in Chicago someone’s been arrested for the murder of Melanie Foster. She writes a note about this to the police, explaining that they have the wrong guy -- because Caleb, her basement prisoner, is actually responsible. Matthew doesn’t want the note sent but Betty sends it anyway. Caleb almost escapes from the basement but after overhearing Betty say that he’s slow and would be executed for his crime, Caleb goes back to the basement.

I WISH I COULD FORGET YOU (Episode 29)

Written by Kevin Etten and Josh Senter; directed by Larry Shaw

Original airdate: November 6, 2005

Whenever George goes to kiss Bree, she develops hives. Bree reacts badly when Dr. Goldfine tells her this is a psychosomatic illness. Bree and George go away for a romantic weekend together, where she again develops hives. George gives Bree medication for the problem, knowing it’ll leave her out of it. Later, Bree awakens to find George has been at her bedside. She’s not ready to have sex with him, but then relents, and the two have sex.

Lynette’s boss Nina and other coworkers make fun of Lynette’s wornout suits, so Lynette buys a bunch of expensive new suits. Tom convinces Lynette she must take back the suits as they’re too expensive. She decides to wear a suit to an important presentation, but hides the price tag -- until Nina finds it and rips it away. Tom’s again upset, until Lynette tells him they need to splurge occasionally -- and she’s bought him brand new golf clubs!

Carlos’ lawyer, David, is shot by the police, after David’s almost shot by a stalker. Gabrielle visits David in the hospital and he seems smitten by her . . . so smitten, in fact, that David walks out of the courtroom later and confesses to Gabrielle he loves her! Gabrielle entices David by wearing lingerie and telling him she won’t leave Carlos, but will have an affair with David. When David agrees to these terms, Gabrielle makes David see that he doesn’t love her, as Carlos would never settle for an affair.

While helping fit Sophie for her wedding dress, Susan learns from Mike that he may be proposing soon. But Susan has a new problem, as she learns Paul’s back and she fears for her life. She turns him into the police, but fearing for his own neck, Mike lies to the police and doesn’t back up Susan’s story about Paul. Frightened by Paul, Susan admits to him that she sent Zach away, and Paul spills this news to Mike. Susan’s forced to admit the truth to Mike, and Mike dumps Susan, then leaves as she’s sobbing in the street.

Lynette befriended Norma, whose twin boys got along with her twins. Their play dates went in a weird direction when the boys brought a videotape of their parents having sex. A mortified Norma pulled out of the playdates, and desperate to keep the friends for her sons, Lynette and Tom went to see Norma and her husband Leonard about the amateur porn. But when Leonard and Norma were both excited about sharing their porn interests with Lynette and Tom, the Scavos realized the play dates were over.

George introduced Bree to his mother, and then he asked Bree to marry him. She accepted, reluctantly, and Dr. Goldfine had her admit she did so only out of politeness. George pushed things further when his mother threw a party for him and Bree and people wondered when Bree and George would be having kids. Upset, Bree told George she was unsure about the direction their relationship was moving, and mentioned that Dr. Goldfine had helped her make this decision. Later, George pushed Dr. Goldfine off a bridge.

Susan wanted to be friends with Mike, but he doesn't want to be anything with her. As Susan's luck would have it, Karl and Edie also broke up, and Karl asked to spend the night at Susan's home. After too much alcohol, Karl admitted to Susan he and Edie broke up because she discovered he sometimes looks at a photo of him with Susan. Susan and Karl ended up sleeping together, to Julie's horror. Afterwards, Susan told Karl that they weren't back in a relationship. Edie and Karl reunited, and Edie thanked Susan, believing Susan had said something to make the reunion happen.

Gabrielle wanted to fit into a new dress before meeting up with her former model friends, but to her horror she learned she'd expanded -- to a size zero. She decided to go without eating for a couple days, but this didn't help matters either, and she had to go to extraordinary lengths to tighten her dress. Bree believed that Gabrielle would come around to loving motherhood, but Gabrielle doubted this. After meeting with her friends, though, Gabrielle realized she no longer had anything in common with them. At home, Gabrielle was surprised by Caleb; running away, she ended up falling down the stairs and had to be taken away by ambulance. Has she miscarried?

Betty couldn't convince Caleb to take responsibility for his actions. He broke out of the basement; as Caleb searched for Matthew, he ran into Danielle and pretended he was there to ask her out.

The neighborhood meets to discuss the intruder, but when Mrs. McCluskey wants to hire security, Betty distracts them by playing the piano.

A frustrated Lynette comes home to discover her kids are playing outside when they should be in bed; she chastizes her husband for allowing them out. Tom teaches the kids to run from strangers, but Lynette doubts this will work. To test her theory, she gets her co-worker Stu to go to her house and entice her kids with candy. Stu does manage to get the kids to come to him, and that’s when he’s attacked by Mrs. McCluskey with a taser!

At the prison, Carlos is upset Gabrielle’s not upset about losing the baby. Gabrielle chooses instead to spend her time shopping. She’s surprised at home by Hector, who informs her he was sent by Carlos to help her. He won’t leave unti she decides to give him money, but he ends up taking her to the park, where he helps her say goodbye to the baby she lost by releasing a balloon.

Mike tells Susan he won’t be coming to her mother’s wedding, and when Susan brings up that her father was a merchant marine who died in a Vietnam battle, Mike pokes a hole in the story, Susan confronts her mother at Sophie’s wedding rehearsal, but it’s Morty who has to tell her that Susan’s father was Sophie’s one night stand. Susan forgives her mother, until at the wedding when Sophie tearfully admits Susan’s father was a married man -- and he’s living in town! Susan fled the wedding and then learned where her father’s at.

Bree’s distressed to learn George “accidentally” placed an engagement notice in the paper. George insists she wear his engagement ring if she won’t tell everyone about the relationship. When George’s ex warns Bree that George is crazy and once burned her ex’s car, Bree refuses to believe this; George convinces Bree that it’s his ex who’s the crazy one. When Bree meets with Ty Grant, her old boyfriend, George is so jealous that he makes a scene, leading to Bree ending their engagement. George steals Ty’s car and burns it.

Caleb meets secretly with Danielle. Later, Mike catches Caleb, who’s taken away by the police as the neighborhood watches, and Betty warns Caleb to remain quiet.

George begins to stalk Bree: he sings outside her house, bikes in front of her house, and just won’t leave her alone. When she tells the hospitalized Dr. Goldfine that she broke up with George, he happens to mention being attacked by someone on a blue bike, and Bree realizes what George has done. George runs away when he sees the police are searching his home and learns via a phone call with Bree that she knows what he did to the doctor. While Bree’s hosting an event at a hotel, George is at a room in the hotel. He sends a note for Bree and then when he learns she’s coming, he takes a bunch of pills. Bree finally shows up, as the pills have got to him, and she gets him to admit he killed Rex. Although she tells him she’s called an ambulance, she hasn’t, and she walks out, leaving George to die.

Ed doesn’t like Lynette’s presentation at work and Nina also agrees it sucks, though Lynette’s frustrated when her coworkers won’t agree with her that it’s Nina who’s in the wrong. When Lynette goes to the office late at night, she discovers Nina’s having sex with Stu. The next morning, a pleased Lynette blackmails Nina: she’ll keep quiet about the hanky-panky if Nina’s nice. Nina agrees to this, but then Lynette learns that Stu’s been fired and other firings may be on the way. Lynette tells Stu to tell Ed the truth to get his job back, but this backfires, as Stu instead threatens sexual harrassment; Ed fires Nina, gives Lynette Nina’s job, and fires other people as well. Lynette learns Nina used to be nicer before she worked with Ed, and now Lynette may be the next to become bitter with no time for relationships.

Gabrielle’s pleased when Carlos is paroled from prison, but less pleased when she learns Carlos owes his release to a Catholic group -- and specifically to a nun, Sister Mary. Carlos vows to be a good, less materialistic person from now on, to Gabrielle’s horror. Gabrielle invites the nun over for a meal, fearing that Carlos is romantically interested in this woman. Instead of pledging his love for the nun, though, Carlos pledges his sports car, and also decides to give up his materialistic ways. Gabrielle tries to talk Carlos out of this by seducing Carlos, and afterwards, she urges the nun to keep her distance. But Mary’s not giving up without a fight, she claims -- and she has God on her side.

Susan tells Julie she doesn’t want to be close to her father, but when she meets him, and he gives her a promotional hat from his store, she’s excited. She plans to get a job at his store, get to know him, and then eventually tell him the truth about their relationship. None of Susan’s friends like this plan, but Susan goes for a job interview anyway. She’s overqualified and too eager, so her father mistakenly believes she’s been sent by his wife’s private eye. When Susan tells him he’s her father, he goes into another room -- and then she finds he’s collapsed, thanks to a heart problem. At the hospital, Susan wants to get closer to her father, but he wants nothing to do with her, as her presence could ruin his marriage. When her father’s wife shows up, Susan doesn’t tell the woman the truth, but tells her father she’s not giving up on him.

Zach returns home, but Paul lies to him about knowing the identity of his biological father. Paul tells Mike that Zach's back but Paul and Mike are at a standstill over what happens next.

After learning Caleb's in the psych ward, Betty goes there, pretending to want to play the piano. As she plays the piano, Matthew helps Caleb sneak away, never realizing that a man named Monroe plans to get Caleb. Monroe follows them out.

Lynette wants to get day care at her office, but can't unless her boss's wife signs on. But Ed's wife Fran isn't about to leave her child at daycare, even after Lynette pleads her case. Lynette convinces Ed he should take control of the situation, but isn't prepared when Ed takes his child away from home without telling Fran! Fran and Ed squabble but Lynette forces the two to realize their own mistakes, and Lynette finally gets the daycare she wanted.

Susan's still meeting with her father Addison, but he's not as into their meetings as she is. She's there for him, though, when he's arrested for soliciting a cop posing as a hooker. When Susan drives her father home, his wife Carol mistakenly believes Susan's having an affair with Addison, and paints WHORE on Susan's house. Addison agrees to tell Carol the truth, but it's Susan who tells Carol the truth, after Carol confronts her at the supermarket. Addison wants to get to know Susan better, but first he needs to work on his marriage, and Susan's okay with waiting until he's ready.

Bree learns the police have proof against George, but she doesn't inform them of her role in his suicide. Andrew's come home, and he's angry at his mother for not suspecting George was evil. Hes not going to listen to her anymore, but he is going to invite his "special friend" Justin over. When Justin arrives and the two play video games, Andrew muses about Bree walking in on him fooling around with Justin. Andrew makes it clear he hates his mother and he's waiting for dirt on Bree before he destroys her. Later, when Andrew tells Bree he would feel better if he knew George suffered, Bree tells Andrew the truth about George's suicide, and he hugs his mother, having finally got dirt on her.

Carlos and Gabrielle argue about his work with Sister Mary; Carlos and Sister Mary are working on a mission trip that's going to Botswana. When Gabrielle learns there aren't enough funds to send the nun, she donates the money so that Mary will leave for the trip. But this backfires, as Sister wants to take Carlos with her! Carlos and Gabrielle argue about this but Carlos is determined to go. To stop her husband from leaving, Gabrielle keeps the doctor from learning about Carlos' allergy to eggs, so Carlos ends up getting a bad injection and is very ill. Gabrielle fears she'll lose Carlos if he becomes too good for her, and she hears him call out for the nun...

At a dinner party, Gabrielle gives Tom an kiss when he mentions he was a band geek who didn’t get kissed until he was 18. Lynette becomes jealous thanks to this but when she brings it up to Gabrielle, Gabrielle doesn’t see what the big deal is. Lynette also learns about Gabrielle’s affair with John and this complicates her perspective on the kiss. Lynette and Tom are divided about what the kiss means.

Meanwhile, Carlos and Gabrielle also argue over her actions, and she tells her husband he should have an affair to even the score between them. Lynette and Gabrielle appear to make up but when Lynette doesn’t think Gabrielle understands her point of view, Lynette gives Carlos a long, passionate kiss. Afterwards, Carlos approaches Lynette and hints that Gabrielles’ given him permission to have an affair with her, but Lynette pushes him away.

Bree sees Andrew kissing Justin and insists that Andrew not do such things in public. But Andrew doesn’t want to listen to his mother. Things become worse when Bree finds Andrew and Justin in bed in the morning; Andrew reacts by blackmailing his mother, as he says he’ll turn Bree in for killing George. Bree hires Karl as her lawyer, and he tries to put the fear of God into Andrew.

After learning Zach’s back in town, Susan wants to bring him and Mike closer together. Zach’s frustrated that Paul insists on homeschooling him, and Paul lies when Zach wonders if he killed Mrs. Huber. After Zach apologizes to Susan and Julie for his actions, Susan decides to bring Mike and Zach closer together by arranging bowling, and Mike and Zach do bond. But when Paul learns about the meeting, he attacks Mike. Later, Julie gives Zach a kiss on the cheek.

The women discuss the Applewhites, who they find creepy. Later, Monroe watches the Applewhite home from his car, where Edie tells him to leave as he’s been there for hours. When the Applewhites leave, Monroe sneaks in to get Caleb, but ends up falling through the stairs and dying. Betty learns he was in contact with someone from the Fosters in Chicago, and realizes she has to get rid of the body. But Betty and Matthew accidentally lock the keys in Monroe’s trunk with the body! The body is found when Susan accidentally hits the car and the trunk’s opened. The women suspect the Applewhites are involved.

Susan has a bad blind date and things become even worse when she and her date headbutt and he must be taken to the hospital. There, she finds herself interested in Dr. Ron. Later, after Julie encourages Susan to ask him out, Susan returns to the hospital and makes up fake symptoms in order to spend more time with him. This backfires, however, as he orders an MRI for her. Going in for the MRI, she embarrasses herself, first by trying to put on the MRI dust jacket as a hospital gown, and then by asking Dr. Ron out -- while he’s not even present. Later, when Dr. Ron informs her that he’s worried she’s dying as he wasn’t able to find anything in the tests, she confesses what she did to him. He’s mad, but not so mad that he won’t agree to go out with her after a few days of cooling off.

The women of Wisteria Lane are suspicious of Betty, who tries to make nice with her neighbors. Bree takes out the detective who investigated her for Rex’s murder in hopes of getting him to do a background check on the Applewhites, but her recitation of the evidence against them isn’t enough for the detective, especially since he thought she was asking him out for a date. After Bree politely turns him down, he tells her she’s had too much to drink and wants to drive her home. Believing he’s trying to get back at her, Bree is angry when he stops her car and arrests her for drinking. She’s allowed to go home but when she can’t get her car until morning, she ends up hitching a ride with Betty. After Betty suggests that Bree may in fact be drinking too much, Bree brings up Betty’s own secrets, leading Betty to call Edie to say she’s selling her house.

Lynette comes home to find what Tom sees as an emergency: the kids have chickenpox! This is especially bad for Tom, who’s never had it before. Lynette thinks he’s being a baby but when he reminds her he’s an even bigger baby when he’s sick, Lynette arranges to stay home. Later, after Tom and Carlos chat about the situation, Tom brings up with Lynette the possibility that he could lose his fertility if he got chickenpox. Lynette’s not so sure what the big deal is, as they’re done having kids -- aren’t they? Yes, but Tom wants the option to have kids with someone else, in case Lynette dies. This doesn’t sit well with Lynette at all, as she’d prefer Tom be miserable in the case of her death. She convinces Tom that he should have a vasectomy. But he can’t go through with it, as he fears it would emasculate him. Both Tom and Lynette realize there’s a problem, but what can be done?

Gabrielle’s gardener Ralph tells her he has a problem that’s wrecked his marriage. He’s addicted to porn -- including the pictures of Gabrielle he found on the Net! Gabrielle can barely believe this, and, mad at her ex-boyfriend Scott for what he’s done, she wants Carlos to go beat him up. He declares he’s become good now and won’t fall back on his rage issues again, even as Gabrielle urges him on. In the hopes of spurring Carlos to action, she undresses to do yoga, and her gardeners are so entranced that one cuts off the other’s finger by accident. But this seems to have done the trick, as Carlos is upset. He goes to confront Scott, and after some more urging from Gabrielle, decides he’ll only talk to Scott. Scott agrees to take down the pictures -- he was going to do so anyway, he tells Carlos, as Gabrielle’s photos weren’t particularly popular online. Carlos is so mad at this that he throws Scott through a door, to Gabrielle’s pleasure.

A blood drive on Wisteria Lane leads Zach to realize that he and Mike share a blood type. Later, Mike meets with Noah, Deirdre’s father and Zach’s grandfather, who’s dying. Noah ends up firing his nurse, as he’s become even more bitter and nasty than before. Mike lies to Noah about the identity of Deidre’s killer and claims he killed Deirdre’s murderer. He also doesn’t plan on being involved with Noah anymore. But Noah may learn the truth eventually anyway, as his new nurse turns out to be Felicia, who knows all about what really happened.

When Edie doesn’t get her way while trying to watch TV, she ties Karl up under the guise of seducing him, then leaves him there to go watch TV.

Matthew and Betty argue when he brings Caleb upstairs and gives his brother a bedroom. Later, Bree’s surprised to find Matthew hiding underneath Danielle’s bed, and she informs Betty of the romance -- but to Bree’s surprise, Betty slaps her son and orders him inside, then reveals they’re planning on moving soon. Betty warns Caleb to stay away from Danielle or she’ll slap him harder than she slapped Matthew. A tearful Danielle demands Bree do something to save her romance with Matthew, and Bree goes to Betty in hopes of making nice. But Betty has no intentions of doing so; meanwhile, Bree sees Caleb in the upstairs bedroom, tells Danielle, and plans to inform her friends. Danielle meets with Matthew, who admits they’re hiding Caleb, but Danielle placates him by revealing her family’s also hiding secrets. Betty informs Bree that if Bree tells anyone what she knows, Betty will inform everyone that Bree helped her son Andrew cover up Juanita’s hit and run. When the women arrive for Bree’s news about the Applewhites, Bree tells them instead that Betty is going to be joining their poker games from now on.

At church, Gabrielle and Carlos argue about his wish to have kids, but Gabrielle becomes even more upset when she learns Sister Mary is back. She has good reason to worry, given that when Carlos admits his problems to Sister Mary, she urges him to annull his marriage to Gabrielle. He can’t convince Gabrielle to promise him a child, and he brings up what happened with Sister Mary. She retaliates by going to confession and telling Father Crowley that Sister Mary is ruining her marriage, though she makes the nun look worse by claiming Carlos and the nun had sex. Gabrielle goes to say goodbye to Mary, who’s being shipped to Alaska; when Mary realizes Gabrielle’s role, the two end up in a huge catfight. Carlos apologizes for the annulment talk and chooses Gabrielle over a kid. Pleased by his choice, Gabrielle tells Carlos she wants to have a child with him.

Lynette gets Tom’s help for an important ad pitch, though all his ideas aren’t solid. The pitch ends up being successful, though Lynette ditched many of her husband’s ideas for it. Now Lynette’s company can afford another executive, and Tom suggests himself! Lynette’s not bowled over by the idea of working with her husband again. He shows up for an interview anyway, using a false name. During the interview, Lynette tries to sabotage her husband’s chances, but Ed loves Tom and wants to hire him on the spot. Later, Lynette tells Tom she confessed the truth to Ed and he can work there, with one condition: he has to forgive her for ruining his promotion before. He tells her he already has forgiven her, and all’s right in their world.

After a date with Dr. Ron, Susan’s disappointed that he doesn’t want to join her inside. Dr. Ron tells her he doesn’t want to move too fast while he’s still her doctor, though he can’t stop himself from giving her a passionate kiss. Later, at the hospital, Dr. Ron tells her she needs a splenectomy, and he can handle it. Susan’s not sure about having him as her surgeon; he hasn’t seen her naked yet, and he’s never done this particular surgery before. Dr. Ron becomes upset when Susan brings up these issues and storms out. Afterwards, Susan waits at the hospital for Dr. Ron, and insists she’s through jumping through hoops for men. But Dr. Ron’s ready to apologize to Susan, and agrees he shouldn’t do the surgery for Susan, as he wants to be involved with her romantically now.

Bree's at a luncheon held by a neighbor when the FBI raid the house and reveal the neighbor is keeping a Chinese woman as her slave. Xiao-Mei, the former slave, is taken in by Carlos, over Gabrielle's objections. Gabrielle stops complaining when she realizes Xiao-Mei can cook, clean, and sew! She fails to convince Carlos to keep the ex-slave as their new maid, but after giving Xiao-Mei a piece of jewelry, the woman doesn't want to leave. Gabrielle has her maid, who considers herself family.

Tom can't get Lynette to help him deal with their boss Ed, who vetoes his ad pitches. Tom ends up bonding with his boss over frat experiences, and then they bond some more as Ed dares him to do humiliating things. But this can only go so far, and Lynette urges her boss to stop the bets. She takes Ed on herself, challenging him to test her and if she wins, he'll stop daring Tom to do crazy things. She succeeds -- by eating a pound of raw bacon.

Susan's lost her medical insurance thanks to her former agent; how can she afford her surgery? Edie suggests Susan marry someone, and even hooks her up with Gary, a gay man who wishes to marry for his mother's sake. But when Gary's life partner, Steven, objects to the marriage, Gary leaves Susan at the altar. When Karl learns of Susan's predicament he proposes marriage to Susan, who accepts. They both agree that Edie must never find out.

Felicia gives Noah an anonymous note informing him he has a grandchild. With the help of Detective Sullivan, he gets into contact with Mike, who admits the truth about Zach. Noah gives Mike 2 days to bring Zach in to see him.

Susan and Edie are concerned by Bree's change of heart about the Applewhites, but Bree keeps them at bay. She secretly sneaks off to the Applewhite home and talks to Caleb, who reveals what happened to Melanie Foster. When Betty learns about this meeting, she's furious, but Bree holds her ground and gets Betty to admit what happened with Caleb and Melanie. Touched by the length she's gone to protect her son, Bree finds herself commiserating with Betty.

Karl and Susan are preparing to get married. When Edie finds the ring and prenup, she mistakenly believes Karl is going to propose to her. Susan's feeling guilty about marrying Karl while she's dating Dr. Ron, but Julie convinces her she's in the right. Dr. Ron and Susan and Karl and Edie all end up at the same restaurant, where Susan freaks out after learning Edie thinks she's getting engaged tonight. Later, Susan tells Karl about Edie's beliefs, and he decides to propose to Edie too. Susan claims she's not jealous of Karl proposing to Edie. Later, Susan and Karl tie the knot.

Mike urges Paul to leave town with Zach before Noah finds them. Zach overhears and learns he's Mike's son.

Gabrielle's sexy flirt of a mother Lucia arrives for a visit. When Gabrielle learns she might not be able to get pregnant again, she brings up the possibility of adoption, while Carlos is more drawn to the idea of surrogacy. Lucia surprises Gabrielle by saying she wants to be their surrogate! Carlos tries to get to the root of Gabrielle's issues with her mother and learns it dates back to when Gabrielle's stepfather sexually abused her at the age of fifteen. Carlos talks with Lucia about this, and after learning Lucia thinks Gabrielle seduced her ex, he tells Gabrielle he's willing to adopt.

A depressed Bree drinks too much and must go home in a cab, where she then collapses on the front lawn. Mrs. McCluskey sees this and alerts Andrew, who's amused by his mother's condition. Meanwhile, Lynette doesn't want Mrs. McCluskey to babysit for her, and sends Mrs. McCluskey away. Lynette leaves her kids with a hungover Bree, who drinks some more and falls asleep. Lynette's kids take off and are found miles away. Bree claims the boys are lying when they say she was asleep, but later Mrs. McCluskey reveals the truth to Lynette. Lynette confronts Bree, who denies a problem; Lynette takes Bree's empty wine bottles and lines them up her doorstep to show Bree she has a problem.

THERE IS NO OTHER WAY (Episode 39)

Written by Bruce Zimmerman; directed by Randy Fisk

Original airdate: March 12, 2006

Noah has Paul arrested and then attacked by two goons, and Mike wants to tell Zach what's happened, but Paul returns home, having fought off his attackers. Felicia's disappointed by Paul's survival.