Episode Guide

LISTEN TO THE RAIN ON THE ROOF (Episode 48)

Written by Marc Cherry and Jeff Greenstein; directed by Larry Shaw

Original airdate: September 24, 2006

A year ago, Orson Hodge was living with his wife Alma, when one day she decided to leave him. He returned home as she was packing up to leave. The next day, their neighbor Carolyn came over and Orson claimed Alma had left him, even as Alma’s pet parrot cried out, “Orson, no!”

In the present, Bree’s been dating Orson for six months. He proposes marriage to her, and she accepts. Later she tells her friends about the engagement, and Gabrielle’s surprised to learn Bree’s waiting for her wedding night to have sex. Bree puts off having sex with Orson, even as he wants it now. But later, his cleaning tips end up turning her on, and they head to bed, where soon he performs oral sex on her. The result is so startling she rushes to the doctor fearing a stroke, only to learn she had her first orgasm. At Bree and Orson’s engagement party, Carolyn shows up claiming Orson killed Alma, who hasn’t been seen since she “left” Orson. Orson insists his wife abandoned him, and Bree takes him at his word. But later, a dead body is uncovered at the construction site of the country club Orson’s been a member at for years.

Edie tries, unsuccessfully, to sell the Young home. First Mrs. McCluskey warns potential buyers about the violent happenings there. Other events keep Edie from making the sale even after months of trying.

Gabrielle’s spent the past six months waiting on Xiao-Mei, who seems to enjoy being waited on hand and foot. Gabrielle warns her that she’ll be sent back to China as soon as the baby’s delivered. Xiao-Mei’s unhappy with this, as she’d expected to get an apartment and job in Chinatown. Later, Gabrielle discovers Xiao-Mei’s missing. She and Carlos head to Chinatown and unsuccessfully question a friend of Xiao-Mei’s about her whereabouts. It turns out that Xiao-Mei was hiding in a closet in the Young home. Gabrielle and Carlos argue about how she’s about to lose her American dream, and Carlos ends up apologizing for his rudeness, but Gabrielle cuts the moment short by driving away.

Over the past six months, Lynette’s put up with a lot from Nora, but when she tries to worm her way into the Scavo Christmas photo, Lynette’s had it. She wants help from Tom, who doesn’t offer much help, and both Nora and Kayla end up in the Scavo photo. Later, Tom learns Lynette lied to Nora about the birthday party for Parker, as she wants Kayla but not Nora to be there. But when Nora calls while the party’s underway, she suspects Lynette’s hiding something from her. Lynette quickly has the party moved to Gabrielle’s backyard, then rushes back to keep Nora from discovering the truth. But the truth comes out anyway, leading Nora to insist on taking Kayla home. Lynette wants Tom to take a stand, so he does, and ends up convincing Nora to let Kayla stay at the party.

Susan’s been waiting at Mike’s hospital bedside for six months, as he’s now in a coma and the doctor has doubts about his recovery. In that time, she’s befriended Ian, whose wife Jane has been in a coma for three years. He ends up asking her out, leading Susan to accidentally dump a smoothie on Jane. After Susan hides this from Ian, he tells her he’ll understand if she’s not ready to date, but his offer stands. Susan lies in bed with Mike and tells him she wants nothing more than for him to wake up, but she’s lonely, and all Ian’s after is dinner. It looks as though Susan’s going to accept the offer.

IT TAKES TWO (Episode 49)

Written by Kevin Murphy and Jenna Bans; directed by David Grossman

Original airdate: October 1, 2006

Bree's friends try to convince her that Orson may have killed his wife, but she refuses to believe this. She asks Orson again but once again he denies any involvement in Orson's death. Susan questions Carolyn, who tells her that the police searched Orson's home and found nothing . . . he'd scrubbed the house clean of any trace of his wife. Susan, Bree, and Gabrielle confront Bree with this news at the church before the wedding, but while Bree briefly pulls Orson aside to question him again, she ends up marrying him. At their wedding reception, a detective asks to have Orson ID a body that may belong to his wife . . a body missing its teeth. Orson and Bree go to the morgue, where he claims it's not Alma, and Carolyn also agrees it's not Orson's wife. But as Orson leaves the morgue, he says a French phrase that means, "I miss you, Monique" to the corpse.

Lynette's happy to learn Nora's going away for the weekend with a creepy looking guy. Tom's worried about this guy getting close to his daughter, but Lynette just wants Nora with someone so she won't be with them! But when that relationship falls apart, Lynette's determined to hook Nora up with someone at Bree's wedding reception. Lynette's matchmaking doesn't work, until she learns Carlos is looking for single women. But Gabrielle's jealousy over seeing Carlos and Nora dancing together complicates things. Later, Lynette apologizes for what happened, but confesses to not having been happy since Nora entered her life. Gabrielle assures Lynette that she and Tom are meant to be together.

Edie's surprised to find her nephew Austin at her home, and she convinces him to stay with her. He meets Julie, who can't help but stare at his bare chest even as she's mad at him for playing his music so loudly. Later, they meet up again at the reception, where Julie's disdain for him remains.

Gabrielle and Carlos squabble over their possessions, including pearls Gabrielle wants despite them coming from Carlos' side of the family. Their mediator reminds them they'll soon have a child, which means they should get along now before the child arrives. Carlos agrees to give up the pearls, leading Gabrielle to invite Carlos to be her guest at Bree's wedding reception . . . which he's paying for . . . and which will be at Carlos' house. At the reception, Carlos misunderstands Gabrielle's invitation as a date, which becomes complicated as Gabrielle flirts with a gay waiter and Carlos dances with Nora. Their arguing's interrupted when Xiao-Mei announces she's in labor. At the hospital, Xiao-Mei delivers a black baby! Gabrielle and Carlos are devestated to learn the wrong embryo was implanted in Xiao-Mei, so they're not going to be parents after all.

Susan and Ian have a date at a restaurant, which goes badly as Ian's comatose wife's parents show up. A panicking Susan pretends to be Ian's wife's doctor, then flees. Afterwards, Susan gets Ian to admit he feels some guilt, as she's also been feeling guilty. She doesn't think they should be together, though he disagrees. He crashes Bree's wedding reception in hopes of getting Susan to change her mind. Then, he and Susan give toasts to Orson and Bree that are actually meant for each other. Susan decides to give Ian a shot after all.

A WEEKEND IN THE COUNTRY (Episode 50)

Written by Bob Daily; directed by Wendey Stanzler

Original airdate: October 8, 2006

Lynette's happy to have time to herself while Tom's out of town camping with the kids, but when he throws out his back, she has to come to his rescue. Worse yet, Nora insists on joining her on the trip. Nora annoys Lynette so much that Lynette bites back, leading Nora to leave with a trucker. But soon Lynette picks Nora up from the side of the road again. The two apologize to each other, and Nora mentions that Tom told her he didn't want to have a job in advertising. Later, Lynette tells Tom he should pursue whatever job he wants, even if it's not in advertising.

Gabrielle's spending a weekend at the spa when she runs into John and learns he's become a very successful gardener. They end up having sex, but afterwards, she's stunned to learn that John's engaged -- and his fiancee has arrived! She sneaks out of the hotel room by getting into a suitcase. Afterwards, she wants to have an affair with John, but he says that he plans on being faithful to his wife . . . once they're married, anyway. Gabrielle returns home to her empty house.

Bree's honeymoon is cut short when she sees a homeless Andrew on the news. While Orson's reluctant to help, Bree searches the streets for her son, and eventually finds him. But Andrew's in no mood to talk to his mother after she abandoned him. Bree's so upset by this that Orson tracks down Andrew and encourages him to return, while also suggesting that Orson has issues with rage. Andrew returns home.

Susan and Ian have gone away to a vacation in the country. They're uncertain about how far the other wants to go, until they see each other's luggage and realize they're ready for sex. But just as things are heating up, an argument breaks out between them when Susan reveals she's slept with 11 men . . . and Ian's only been with his comatose wife Jane. The argument subsides when Susan hears Ian playing the piano. The two make love.

Meanwhile, when Julie's science project causes her lights to go out, she heads over to Edie's for help, and finds a shirtess Austin. He offers his assistance, and Edie sees something between the two. Edie warns Julie to stay away from her bad boy nephew. Then, she heads to Mike's hospital room to pick up her CD player, and she witnesses a stunning change: Mike opens his eyes.

LIKE IT WAS -- Episode Fifty-one

Written by John Pardee and Joey Murphy; directed by Larry Shaw

Original airdate: October 15, 2006

When Mike awakens from his coma, the news spreads all over Fairview, but Susan remains in the dark as she's extended her rendevous with Ian in the country. Meanwhile, Edie's intrigued to learn Mike doesn't remember anything that happened since shortly after his arrival in town. When Susan learns about Mike's recovery, she freaks out and is rude to Ian, apologizing to him once they reach the hospital. Ian agrees that she should be with Mike now. But Susan's devestated when Mike pushes her away, not realizing that Edie's been keeping him in the dark about the truth. After Mike sends Susan away, Edie visits Mike and tells him he wasn't in love with Susan.

Lynette can hardly believe her ears when Parker wants to quit the baseball team. She's not one for quitters, even as it's clear that Parker is a lousy ball player. Meanwhile, Lynette's trying to convince Tom to become interested in a job in PR she's learned of, even as he rebuffs this possibility. Lynette bribes a pitcher on another team to go easy on Parker, but when this plan is revealed, Parker's tossed from the team. But now he wants the position, so Lynette bribes the coach to keep Parker around. When Parker sprains his foot, Lynette's relieved that his baseball days are over. And Lynette admits to Tom she slightly resents him for being able to pursue his own career dreams now while she works, but encourages him to do so anyway.

Gabrielle and Carlos spar as she's selling his things since he's not providing her with enough money. He fights back by giving in to her monetary demands and then he moves home! He makes a scene in front of Lynette and Bree. Gabrielle changes the locks and calls the police when Carlos breaks in. But the police officers end up siding with Carlos, and they arrest Gabrielle. Carlos bails Gaby from jail, and as they're heading home, he wants to make up with her, as he still loves her. But she says she hasn't loved Carlos for some time, and slept with John just last weekend. Carlos pulls the car over and throws Gabrielle out on the side of the road.

Bree, Orson, and her children decide to claim Andrew was at drama camp rather than being on the streets. At a school event, Bree meets Danielle's teacher, who gushes about her; then, Andrew meets Mr. Keck, a former client. Orson's shocked to learn that Mr. Keck, a married man, bought Andrew's services. Bree questions Orson about the conversation between Andrew and himself, and learns the truth about both Andrew and Mr. Keck. After debating whether she should inform Mrs. Keck, she ends up spilling that secret. Ms. Keck knew her husband had someone on the side but didn't want details, so she retaliates by telling Bree that Danielle's been sleeping with her teacher! Danielle claims she's in love with her teacher. Bree doesn't know where she went wrong with her kids, but she and Andrew end up bonding despite their tumultuous history.

Orson's not happy to learn Mike woke from his coma, but at the hospital he's happy to learn of Mike's memory problems.

NICE, SHE AINT -- Episode 52

Written by Alexandra Cunningham and Susan Nirah Jaffee; directed by David Warren

Original airdate: October 22, 2006

Gabrielle comes home to find Carlos about to join a date in the bathtub. The next day, Carlos admits he was only doing that to rub it in Gabrielle's face. But she's turned things around by bringing in her own date, who happens to be someone who previously won two business awards over Carlos. Gabrielle's not actually into the man, and fakes sex noises so that Carlos will believe she's having sex. He sees through the deception and tells Gabrielle she can't drive him away and will wait until she wants him again. The next morning, Carlos brings his wife breakfast in bed and discovers her sleeping with a guy she brought home from a bar. Now, Gabrielle wonders, has Carlos given up on a future together?

Tensions are high at Bree's home, as Danielle is continuing her romance with her married teacher, even as Bree warns her of the dangers. Danielle throws a fit and goes upstairs. Later, Andrew discovers her having made a halfhearted suicide attempt. After Danielle's rushed to the hospital, Bree and Orson are concerned, with Orson blowing up at Andrew over his refusal to take the suicide attempt seriously. Bree and her family attend counseling together, but Bree's attempt to show her love for her daughter backfires as Danielle declares she'll leave Bree forever if she breaks up her relationship with her teacher. Bree takes Danielle's things to the teacher, who no longer wants to be with Danielle. Bree tells him to dump Danielle if he must, but she's not to know about Bree's role in the breakup. When Danielle informs Bree of the breakup, she also reveals she got the teacher fired, and revealed to his wife the details about the affair.

Susan's attempts to get close to Mike and help him remember their past together aren't working, and Mike sends her away. Susan discovers the reason when she learns Edie's been visiting Mike daily and has convinced the hospital staff she's Mike's girlfriend. After security drags her away, Susan has to get creative to get close to Mike, so she lures Edie away from Mike with a phone call, then takes Mike out of the hospital and into a waiting vehicle. On Wisteria Lane, Susan's attempts to bring back Mike's memories fail until she starts to fall, and Mike begins to remember Susan's clumsiness. But when Susan opens up to Mike, she has no good explanation for what she was doing with Ian in the country. Edie finds Susan and Mike and as she's taking Mike away, faces off with Susan, suggesting that she'll soon be sleeping with Mike.

Tom's finally settled on his dream: he wants to open a pizza parlor! Lynette's uncertain about this idea but holds back on telling Tom her true feelings. Nora overhears Lynette discuss her fears with her friends, then privately tells Lynette to not let Tom go through with the idea. Lynette suggests Tom open a small catering company and then expand it to a pizza parlor . . . in five years. Tom's angry with his wife for not supporting him, even as Lynette insists most new restaurants fail. Later, Nora takes Tom's side on the pizza parlor idea. Why has Nora said different things to Tom and Lynette? The answer becomes clearer when Kayla tells Nora she wants her dad to live with them, and Nora says she's working on doing just that.

The detectives investigating the dead body discover writing on one of the hands. A closer examination of the hand reveals it's a phone number. Specifically, it's Mike's phone number!

Austin comes to Julie for help writing an English paper. Julie reluctantly agrees to help, while her friend's smitten by him. But when it comes time to write the paper, Austin puts forth little effort, and Julie writes it for him after his sob story about his hard life comes out. Julie's shocked when she finds Austin having sex in the back of a car with her friend. And later, Austin's the shocked one when his paper receives a D-, as Julie gave him a lousy essay. He believes Julie's jealous, something which she denies.

SWEETHEART, I HAVE TO CONFESS -- Episode 53

Written by Dahvi Waller and Josh Senter; directed by David Grossman

Original airdate: October 29, 2006

With her husband Harvey standing at her side, Carolyn apologizes to Bree and Orson for accusing him of murder. When Bree learns that her friends at the country club are shutting her out because of Carolyn's accusations, Bree arranges for her, Orson, Carolyn, and Harvey to have a dinner at the country club's restaurant. The dinner seems pleasant enough until Carolyn and Bree go to the bathroom, where Carolyn shows Bree photos that suggest Alma was beat up by Orson. Meanwhile, Harvey confesses to Orson that he's had an affair with a woman, and Orson learns the woman is Monique, the dead woman whose body he saw earlier this season.

Orson makes an anonymous call to the police. He IDs Monique's body and tells the police about her affair with Harvey. The detective questions Harvey, while Carolyn looks on at a distance.

Edie admits to Mike she's loved him since she first saw him, but he never noticed her before. Now, though, things have changed, and Mike and Edie end up in bed together. The detectives question Mike about the dead woman with Mike's number on her hand, but Mike informs them he's lost his memory. Later, a seductive outfit of Edie's makes Mike remember the dead woman, Monique, as she appeared ready to seduce him.

Susan discovers Mike and Edie in bed in Mike's hospital room. Distraught she ends up getting drunk with Gabrielle and Lynette, then takes a cab to see Ian. Having forgotten about the party he was throwing, she tries to hold herself together, despite her inebriated state. The next morning, having forgotten what happened, she learns she told Ian she wanted to be with him, and she and Ian end up getting back together.

Lynette's angry to learn that Tom leased a building for his pizza parlor without telling her. Angry for his wife's lack of support, Tom decides to sleep at his rundown building for now. When Kayla learns about this, she calls her mom Nora to fill her in on what's happened. Nora goes to see Tom, and while taking his side, kisses him. Tom pulls away, trying to make it clear that he only wants Lynette. Nora acts as though he was the one putting the moves on her. Later, Tom and Lynette make up, as Lynette wants to support Tom's dream. But when Tom tells Lynette about the kiss, Lynette knocks down Nora's door and warns her to stay away from her family from now on.

The legal battle between Carlos and Gabrielle seems worse than ever, as they fight over possessions, til Carlos decides Gabrielle can have whatever she wants. This raises Gabrielle's suspicions, especially when she sees him hiding something he received in the mail. She sneaks in to his things and discovers he's about to get a great job that will pay a lot. But Gabrielle will only receive half the money if it happens before the divorce. Gabrielle seduces Carlos in hopes of getting her share of the money. Afterwards, Carlos confesses to having made up the job, and he did so in order to sleep with Gabrielle, and then dump her.

BANG -- Episode 54

Written by Joe Keenan; directed by Larry Shaw

Original airdate: November 5, 2006

Bree questions Orson about the police report she received from Carolyn; he claims Alma provoked him, and spills the dirt on Carolyn's husband Harvey's affair with Monique. When Carolyn again confronts Bree about Orson, Bree tells Carolyn about Harvey's affair.

Carolyn's response to this news is to take a gun to the supermarket Harvey owns. She causes a commotion as she chases him, even as he and Edie lock themselves in a back room. Then, she takes everyone inside the store hostage.

Meanwhile, Susan's plans to go away with Ian to Paris must be put on hold. First, Susan learns about Julie tutoring Austin, and fearing Austin's effect on her daughter, gets mad at Julie. At the supermarket, Austin tries to frame Julie for shoplifting; this gets Edie and Susan called in, though Susan heads outside to tell Ian she can't go with him to Paris. Julie and Austin are trapped inside during the hostage situation, and Austin's there for Julie when she needs him. Susan feels guilty for being mad at Julie before the hostage situation, and she's relieved Julie's ok.

Gabrielle and Carlos have reached a turning point in their divorce proceedings. Carlos taped Gabrielle's attempt to seduce him for money, and this leads to Gabrielle not getting alimony. Gabrielle returns home and begins destroying Carlos' things. Carlos responds by starting to destroy the home, as Gabrielle received it in the settlement. Their outbursts are stalled thanks to news about the hostage situation, which leads Gabrielle to consider that she could have been like Carolyn. She and Carlos both realize they could have handled the past six months a lot better than they did.

Bree's house becomes the site of a party of sorts, as the neighborhood comes together to watch news about the hostage situation. When the news reveals details about what's happened, Bree realizes she's partly to blame for the incident. Orson tries to be there for his wife.

Nora tells Tom and Lynette that she and Kayla are moving to Mexico to get away from Lynette. Lynette convinces Tom to sue for full custody of Kayla, as they want Nora out of their lives. At the supermarket, Nora and Lynette meet up and face off, but the hostage incident keeps things from going too far. During the hostage situation, Lynette mentions to Carolyn that Nora attempted to seduce her husband, and Carolyn shoots Nora. Nora tells Lynette to take care of Kayla, and then she dies. Lynette gets angry at Carolyn, but just as Carolyn's about to shoot Lynette, the newest resident of Wisteria Lane throws a can at Carolyn, deflecting the shot from killing Lynette. In the ensuing aftermath, someone kills Carolyn with her own gun. Lynette, Edie, Austin, and Julie exit the supermarket to greet their loved ones.

CHILDREN AND ART -- Episode 55

Written by Kevin Etten and Jenna Bans; directed by Wendey Stanzler

Original airdate: November 12, 2006

While preparing her Christmas cards, Bree learns Orson's mother Gloria is in a nursing home only a half hour away from Fairview. He's against the idea of visiting his mother, and suggests Gloria's senile. When Bree visits Gloria, she finds a woman who seems to have all her faculties. She invites Gloria to dinner, and Orson's furious by her presence. At first Gloria is sweet as can be, but then the claws come out and Gloria reveals she wants out of the nursing home. Gloria's so desperate to get out of the nursing home that she steals the car used to bring her back, leading to an accident. Bree can't convince Orson to let Gloria stay with them for now, but Gloria gets Orson to agree by threatening to spill the truth about the bad blood between them.

Returning home after the hostage incident, Lynette's lied to her kids by telling them she was injured in a fight with a hobo. She's grateful to new neighbor Art for saving her at the supermarket, and promises to make him a cake. Later, her kids learn all about what happened at the supermarket at school; the twins aren't affected negatively, but Parker becomes overprotective about his mom, not wanting Lynette to go to the supermarket again. To comfort Parker, Lynette enlists Art's aid, and he reveals to Parker that he's a superhero who saved Lynette at the supermarket. When Lynette and Parker bring the cake to Art's house, they find he's gone. Going inside, Lynette discovers a basement full of toys -- and a wall of little boys dressed in swimming suits. Creeped out by this, Lynette exits, and later sees Art chatting outside with a little girl.

Susan and Ian arrive at her house after a date, where they discover Austin and Julie in an intimate moment on the couch. Susan's furious with Julie, and after tossing Austin out, forbids Julie from ever seeing Austin again. This backfires, as Julie becomes mad at her mother and leaves with Austin. Edie's no help for Susan, as she's busy with Mike, who's returned home from the hospital. Edie does suggest that Austin and Julie have probably been sleeping together. Susan brings in Karl hoping he'll help her with Julie, but when he learns about Susan and Ian, he's more furious with Susan than he is with Julie. Later, Julie apologizes to her mother.

The detective investigating Mike's connection to Monique's death wants a search warrant, and gets it, after he finds evidence that links the murder to someone who'd own a high end wrench . . . and that someone may be Mike. The wrench happens to be in the possession of Mrs. McCluskey, who returns the tools she took from Mike's place and suggests he clean off the wrench.

After a talk with a little girl, Gabrielle decides to go back to modeling, as her life in the suburbs wasn't what she expected. She flies to New York and meets with her former agent, who has doubts about Gabrielle starting up her career again. But Gabrielle ends up with a modeling job. To Gabrielle's horror, the job leads her to be the Mom in the picture, alongside a teenage daughter. Gabrielle tries to convince the photographer to give her a sexier role, but he becomes mad and calls her agent. Gabrielle's agent tells Gabrielle that this is the best job she could find for her, as Gabrielle's over the hill for a model. Gabrielle returns home to Fairview, her modeling career over once again.

BEAUTIFUL GIRLS -- Episode 56

Written by Dahvi Waller and Susan Nirah Jaffee; directed by David Grossman

Original airdate: November 19, 2006

With nothing to do, Gabrielle helps her personal shopper Vern with his new business coaching girls entering beauty pageants. The girls tend to be plain, which has Gabrielle wanting out of there. But she bonds with the girls after showing them how to walk a runway. Her stories about how she knew models who purged and smoked to stay thin backfires on her, as the girls try out these ideas. Their parents want Gabrielle fired, but she convinces them that this job means a lot to her.

Tom and Lynette cannot convince the police that Art's a pedophile. Later, she lies to Art about what she saw inside the house, but she's outed as a liar thanks to a comment from Parker. When she dozes off at her house, Parker wanders outside. Waking up, Lynette freaks, running to Art's home in hopes of finding her son. He claims he donated the toys, and the wall of pictures of boys is gone. It turns out Parker was merely across the street at Mike's house with Tom. Tom reminds Lynette they can't accuse Art without proof; she talks to Mrs. McCluskey about Art, and Mrs. McCluskey has no problem making calls about Art.

Gloria has made Orson and Bree miserable living at the Hodge home, as she complains about everything, from the food to the lack of alcohol. She wants her own place, but when they go with Edie to find a home in a bad neighborhood, Gloria falls down and Bree insists she not move away. Gloria bribes Andrew to get her wine, leading to a drunk Gloria revealing that Orson cheated on his first wife Alma with Monique. Bree's shaken by this news, realizing that Monique was the dead woman they saw in the morgue on the night of their wedding. She tells Orson to leave their home.

Carlos convinces Mike that they were best friends, and as his best friend, Mike agrees to let Carlos live with him. Mike has the toolbox the police are looking for; he tries to bury it in the middle of the night, but Detective Ridley catches him.

After Susan presses Ian, he agrees to have her sleep over at his place. There, she meets Ian's longtime butler, Rupert, who makes it clear that he thinks of Susan as Ian's mistress. She tries to bond with him but her efforts fail. Ian tells Rupert to find Susan a drawer for her things, and the drawer ends up being in a smelly closet. Susan seems to have doubts when she learns there's no available drawer as Ian's comatose wife Jane's things are still around, so she talks to Ian. Ian clears out a drawer in Jane's bureau for Susan to use.

THE MIRACLE SONG (Episode 57)

Written by Bob Daily; directed by Larry Shaw

Original airdate: November 26, 2006

Gloria wants Bree to end her marriage to Orson. She's uncertain about Orson's involvement in Monique's murder, but her doubts about Orson fade after Mike's arrested. Bree's initially unable to reach Orson by phone. When she does reach him, Orson tells Bree that he never loved Alma, and only married her because she was pregnant; she miscarried shortly after the wedding. He did love Monique, but now he's in love with Bree. She takes him back and wants to get rid of Gloria. Gloria's miffed she's going to a retirement community condo, and makes a call to someone who she meets on the corner. That someone is Alma Hodge, Orson's first wife, who's alive and well.

Susan's to meet Ian's parents, and reluctantly agrees to make dinner for them. Knowing her lousy cooking abilities, Susan gets Bree to agree to make dinner. Mike's arrested for Monique's murder, and thanks to his amnesia, even he's uncertain whether he did it or not. Fearing the worst about Mike, Edie dumps him. When Susan learns Mike's problem, she agrees to help him find a lawyer. But Ian isn't happy with Susan's involvement in Mike's life. After she and Bree argue over their men's involvement with Monique's death, Susan steals the key to Orson's office so she can investigate his belongings. Once there, she hides before Orson and Bree can see her, and discovers evidence in a box that shows Orson had been committed to a psychiatric hospital. Ian's mad when Susan shows up late and without dinner, even as his parents didn't arrive. He has an ultimatum for her: she's never to see Mike again, and in return, he'll hire Mike the best lawyer in town. Susan agrees.

As the news about Art's spread around Wisteria Lane, Art ends up getting shut out at the holiday block party. Art's sister Rebecca confronts Lynette, and suggests Lynette jumped to conclusions. Lynette hopes to have a talk with the local women about Art, but all they want is to stage a protest at his house, even as Lynette's now doubting Art's guilt. The protest at Art's house ends with Rebecca being escorted out in an ambulance, as she's collapsed due to cardiac arrest. And Art's attacked as he exits his house. Lynette tries in vain to stop the protest. Rebecca dies; Lynette goes to tell Art how sorry she is for what happened, even as he's packing up to leave. He thanks her for what she did, as because of Lynette, he's now free of Rebecca. He always had to be on his best behavior because of his ill sister, but now he can give in to his true feelings. Lynette clearly feels sickened and helpless to do anything to stop Art.

Gabrielle and Vern decide to dump Amy, one of the kids in their group, as she stands little chance of winning a pageant. But when they go to tell Amy's dad, Bill, about this, Gabrielle's so smitten with Bill she says she wants to give Amy private lessons at her home. At the private lesson, Gabrielle's more interested in Bill than Amy, something Amy sees. Amy makes it clear that she doesn't want Bill and Gabrielle together, and that her dad will make her happy. Amy wants her father to marry the mother of her best friend Sherry, so she and Sherry can be sisters. Gabrielle approaches Sherry and tells her that Sherry and Amy are going to be dancing together in an opening number at the pageant; Sherry's furious, as Amy's not very good. As Gabrielle planned, Sherry and Amy's friendship is over, and Gabrielle asks Bill out.

No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds

Written by Josh Senter and Alexandra Cunningham

Directed by Sanaa Hamri

Susan goes to see Mike and tell him of his lawyer, while also telling him she’s told Ian she’ll never see Mike again. He seems to be interested in Susan again. Susan calls Detective Ridley and tells him what she knows about Orson’s involvement with Monique, and his time in the mental institution. In prison, Mike tells a fellow inmate about his amnesia, and he meets a fellow prisoner . . . Paul Young! Meanwhile, Ian’s unhappy when he discovers Susan met with Mike. But when Susan blurts out that she loves Ian, all is well with them again.

Flashbacks reveal how Alma learned Orson had an affair, then left him after he admitted their marriage was a sham they’d entered into because she was pregnant with a child she lost. Back in the present, Alma introduces herself to Bree, who faints. Orson’s also shocked by his first wife’s return, even as Alma claims to have forgiven Orson. Bree asks Alma to a dinner party, hoping to parade the alive Alma in front of Susan. Bree keeps Alma away from her dinner guests til she’s ready, and when left alone, Alma takes out a syringe and injects herself with something. Then, Bree shows off Alma in front of her guests. Detective Ridley shows up at the party to ask Orson about his affair with Monique, and when Bree learns Susan called the police about what she’d learned, she tells Susan their friendship’s over! Alma buys a house on Wisteria Lane.

Kayla returns to the Scavo home, where Lynette has her kids be nice to Kayla, and she also gives Kayla a doll given to Lynette by her grandmother. Kayla gets her way when she wants to watch TV while eating, while Lynette’s sons don’t get similar treatment, to their frustration. Lynette finds Kayla’s destroyed and thrown away her doll. When she tells Tom, he agrees she shouldn’t give Kayla special treatment now that she’s in their family. Out at a restaurant with Kayla and her boys, Lynette’s frustrated when Kayla eats her dessert very slowly, and is even more frustrated when Kayla throws a fit. Lynette bribes her sons, who drag Kayla out of the restaurant. Tom asks Kayla to give Lynette a chance, but while Kayla promises to be good, she also says she’ll never love Lynette. Lynette hears this.

Bill and Gabrielle are on a picnic when she gets a call from Carlos, who’s watching nearby. She’s not happy to learn he’s living in Mike’s house. Later, Gabrielle gets flowers from a secret admirer. Suspecting Carlos, she confronts him, but he denies involvement. Gabrielle goes to the florist in hopes of finding out if Carlos sends the flowers, and goes so far as to lock the florist with the flowers so she can find out who sent the flowers. When Bill discovers what Gabrielle’s doing, he dumps her, convinced she’s obsessed with her ex. Carlos still denies sending the flowers, and proves it by listing the flowers she loves.

Julie’s not quite ready for sex with Austin, and he says he’s okay with it. When she talks this over with Danielle, Danielle tells her to hold on to her virginity as long as she wants, while Andrew’s convinced Austin will move on to another girl if Julie won’t sleep with him. Julie tells Austin she’s ready to have sex, and they do. But Austin’s a two-timer, as we discover he’s also sleeping with . . . Danielle!

NOT WHILE I’M AROUND

Written by Kevin Murphy and Kevin Etten

Directed by David Grossman

In prison, Mike’s attacked by an immate. He’s saved by Paul. Later, Paul pays off the inmate he hired to attack Mike. Mike agrees to do Paul a favor sometime. But then a guard fills Mike in on Paul having hired the inmate to attack Mike.

Gabrielle comes home to find her secret admirer left an expensive dress. Freaked out, she insists Carlos spend the night on her couch. Gabrielle wakes Carlos when the secret admirer shows up and Carlos attacks the man as he’s leaving another gift. It turns out that the man is actually working for the secret admirer. Gabrielle talks to her secret admirer on the phone; he sweettalks her, saying she’s the most beautiful woman in the world. Against Carlos’ better judgment, Gabrielle agrees to meet the guy for lunch. At lunch at a nice restaurant, Gabrielle’s surprised to learn her secret admirer is Zach Young! Gabrielle’s weirded out to be on a date with Zach, even as he tells her how rich he is now. When Gabrielle goes to leave, Zach kisses her, and Gabrielle gets mad and rushes out. Gabrielle lies to Carlos about her secret admirer’s identity, then learns he already knew it was Zach, as he followed her to the restaurant. She tells her ex she doesn’t need him on the couch anymore, as they’re divorced. He’s disappointed and says he’ll always be there for her when needed.

Tom comes home from preparing his pizzeria to find Lynette’s already looked at his menu. He reveals he doesn’t want her to visit his restaurant til it opens, as he knows she’ll have suggestions and problems with the place. Lynette’s upset when Tom goes so far as to ban Lynette from the pizzeria’s opening. After learning Tom’s gone from his restaurant, Lynette sneaks in to check it out. She sees Andrew, who’s going to be working there; he tells her they can’t get a liquor license because not everyone within a block has signed off on it. Lynette goes around getting everyone in the neighborhood on board with the liquor license, but her last holdout won’t give in. When she sees the elderly man staring at her breasts, she offers to show the man her breasts in return for him agreeing to sign off on the liquour license. Lynette and the man both get what they wanted. Tom realizes Lynette helped him, and he’s mad initially, til she convinces him that he’s helped her out a lot in the past. He has many other problems with his pizzeria, and agrees to have Lynette help him.

Susan overhears Julie and Austin discussing getting her the pill. When Susan confronts her daughter, Julie lies and claims she’s not having sex, and the pills are for someone else. Austin and Julie talk to Edie, who doesn’t want to help but reluctantly agrees to get Julie the pill. When Gabrielle doesn’t believe Susan that Julie and Austin aren’t having sex, they search Julie’s room and find the pill hidden in the VCR. A phone call with the doctor who prescribed birth control tells Susan that it was Edie who got Julie on birth control. Susan confronts Edie, who insists Susan needs to deal with Austin and Julie, as they’re in love with each other. Just then, Susan and Edie catch Austin and Danielle together on the couch! Susan and Julie have a heart to heart; Julie agrees not to keep secrets from her mother any longer, but then is devestated when Susan tells her about Austin and Danielle.

Bree learns Alma’s bought the Applewhite home. She tries, and fails, to convince Alma that the place’s history is bad. Bree wants Orson to talk to Alma, and he agrees to do so. Orson urges Alma not to move onto Wisteria Lane, but she says she wants him back, and is a stronger woman now. She also reveals that Gloria told her about what he did to Mike and Monique, and if she had no chance with Orson, she could turn him into the police. Orson tells Bree that Alma is moving in. Alma’s taught her parrot to say something when Bree arrives hoping to convince Alma not to live there. Alma claims Orson came over earlier to welcome her to the neighborhood. As Alma exits to deal with the mover, Bree hears the parrot say, “Don’t tell Bree.” This leads Bree to drop her glass. As she goes to clean up, Bree’s shoe gets stuck in the floorboard. She picks up the board and finds a bag of teeth. Bree calls Orson to tell him to come home as soon as possible.

COME PLAY WIZ ME

Bree shows the teeth to Orson. He insists they take back the teeth to Alma's before informing the police. He calls his mother to say he knows she's working with Alma. Orson confronts Alma, who doesn't seem ready to give up, as she thinks their marriage would've lasted had they had a child. Gloria visits Bree and tells Bree that she doesn't believe in divorce, so as far as she's concerned, Bree's wrecking Alma and Orson's marriage. Later, Orson gets a call from Gloria and rushes to Alma's, to discover his first wife has apparently committed suicide. But when Orson gets woozy, he realizes Gloria and Alma drugged his drink. Alma awakens to reveal that she plans on getting pregnant with Orson's child! She's clearly crazy as she mounts Orson and tells him she used sleeping pills and Viagra. When Bree learns Orson's at Alma's, she goes and finds Orson in Alma's bed but also discovers the pills and realizes Alma raped her husband! Bree knocks out Alma then calls Andrew for help.

One of the girls Gabrielle coached wins the beauty pageant; she learns Zach bribed the judges! She still rebuffs Zach's romantic advances. But Susan convinces Gabrielle to agree to a date, in hopes of getting help from Zach for Mike. Gabrielle negotiates a date with Zach, and agrees to a full day and kiss in exchange for his help. The date goes well til he kisses her, and does a bad job of it. Gabrielle's disgusted to learn Zach's been hiring escorts. Gabrielle wants to be Zach's friend, something he doesn't have right now, and Zach agrees to this. Zach visits Paul in prison but refuses to help him, suggesting he plans on seducing and marrying Gabrielle.

Parker doesn't want Lynette going back to work. Tom wants Lynette's help at a street fair to advertise the pizzeria, so Lynette pretends to still be ill to keep from going back to work. When Ed shows up at the Scavo home, Kayla tells him Lynette's down at the street fair. Ed confronts Lynette at the street fair, and nearly fires her, til she promises to work overtime whenever needed. Parker's visibly upset. Lynette tells Tom she's quit her job and wants to be the pizzeria manager. After some convincing from Lynette, Tom agrees.

Susan and Ian introduce Mike to his new lawyer; he wants Mike to plead guilty. Susan and Ian argue about Mike. In prison, Mike confronts Paul, who admits he's done everything in hopes of getting Mike to get Zach's help. Mike realizes he's Zach's dad! Meanwhile, Ian's comatose wife Jane is not doing well. When Ian learns this, he's out of town, and so calls Susan and asks her to go be with Jane. Susan meets Jane's best friend and learns Jane had an affair, and Ian knew, but never trusted Jane again. When Susan learns Jane's going to die soon, she informs Ian, then lets Ian say goodbye to Jane via phone. Mike's grateful to Zach and Susan for their help when he's released from jail. He agrees to stay away from Susan. Susan and Ian kiss. Jane's passed away.

"I Remember That"

Written by John Pardee and Joey Murphy; directed by David Warren

Edie convinces Tom to hire Austin to work at his pizzeria. But when Lynette finds Austin stoned, she fires him. Later, Lynette’s unhappy to find Tom’s rehired Austin! Tom explains that Austin’s good looks and Edie’s marketing efforts will help their business, and Lynette accepts this. Tom insists on being the boss at work. Lynette allows Tom to chew her out in front of the rest of the staff to set an example.

Susan gets Julie’s help to find a suitably sad dress to wear to Jane’s funeral. At the funeral, Susan attempts to keep a low profile, but when she overhears Lynn, one of Jane’s friends, express her interest in seducing Ian, she can’t help but tell Lynn that Ian’s seeing someone. Pressed for more info, Susan admits she’s the woman Ian’s dating! Furious over this, Lynn gives her eulogy, and makes a point to note that Ian’s dating Susan. Susan’s humiliated and flees to the back of the mortuary. Ian comforts his girlfriend, and comes close to proposing. But when Susan says she doesn’t want to become engaged surrounded by dead bodies, they instead settle for it as a pre-proposal.

Zach wants to buy Gabrielle something huge for her 31st birthday, but depressed by her age, she wants to avoid a party or big presents. Zach’s surprised to learn that Gabrielle’s having dinner with Luke, one of his lawyers! While they’re dining together, Luke receives a visit from a fellow lawyer with a message from Zach, who’s spying from outside. If Luke sleeps with Gabrielle, then he’s out of a job! Luke reluctantly tells Gabrielle he only dates women in their twenties. Depressed by this, Gabrielle starts to drink. Zach arrives at her doorstep and comforts Gabrielle, who passes out.

After Bree informs him what Gloria and Alma did to him, Orson opens up to his wife about what happened to Monique. Andrew overhears a tense moment between the couple. Later, Orson tells Gloria and Alma he’s admitted everything to Bree. Alma gives up on winning Orson back, but Gloria’s not yet convinced, and she locks Alma in the upstairs of Alma’s home. When Bree sees a bag on the ladder outside her home, she climbs it, suspecting it’s filled with Monique’s teeth. But she falls from the ladder. Andrew and Orson are there to call for help, and Andrew finds the bag contains marbles. At the hospital, Andrew informs Orson he believes his stepfather was responsible for Bree’s accident and convinces the hospital staff to keep Orson away from Bree.

Thanks to a hypnotherapist, Mike recalls that he was not Monique’s lover, but her plumber. Later, Mike recalls that Orson was at Monique’s place, claiming to be her boyfriend, and he handed Mike the wrench used to kill Monique. When Mike tracks Orson down at the hospital, Orson attempts to flee when he realizes Mike’s memories have returned. The fight between them ends with Orson falling over the side of the hospital.

THE LITTLE THINGS YOU DO TOGETHER

Written by Joe Keenan and Marc Cherry; directed by David Grossman

As he’s falling from the roof, Orson recalls the night Monique died: he discovered Gloria had killed Monique, apparently by accident. He helped her dispose of the body, and Gloria removed Monique’s teeth to keep the crime from being discovered. Back in the present, Orson survives the fall but is rushed inside to the hospital.

Andrew tells Bree his suspicions about Orson’s involvement in her accident. Later, Susan and Bree make up, with Bree prepared to soon go to the police to clear Mike’s name. Meanwhile, Orson tells a shrink he didn’t try to kill himself. But his father did commit suicide, shortly after having an affair. Orson was supposed to be taking care of his father that night, and Gloria’s always blamed him for this.

Alma breaks out of her upstairs window, and goes onto the roof to call for help. She ends up crashing off the roof to her death! Danielle is supposed to be watching Bree at home while Andrew works at the pizzeria, but a scheming Gloria arrives, getting rid of Danielle after first having Danielle deliver Bree some poisoned soup. When Orson learns Gloria’s up to something, he leaves his hospital bed to go home. Meanwhile, Gloria has moved a drugged Bree to the bathroom, where she plans on making it appear as if Bree committed suicide. She knocks Andrew down the stairs when he comes to his mother’s rescue. Orson arrives in the nick of time; realizing that his mother also killed his father, Orson fights with Gloria, who ends up having a stroke.

Orson carries Gloria’s body outside and places it near Alma’s dead body. Then, he returns to Bree, and tells her what will happen now: when the two bodies are discovered, it will seem as if Gloria had a stroke after finding Alma committed suicide. He’ll place the fake suicide note Alma previously wrote, and the bag of teeth, at Alma’s side. This will lead Mike to be cleared of murder charges. And he and Bree are going on a honeymoon now. But before he leaves, Orson visits his mother in the hospital. She’s been left with her mind fully functional and her body unable to move. Orson tells his mother he’s leaving her and never returning. He goes home to Bree, ready for a normal marriage with his wife.

Ian and Susan go to the hospital to pick up Jane’s things, and discover the belongings include some of Mike’s things . . . which Ian discovers includes the engagement ring Mike planned on giving Susan before his accident. He also learns Mike’s memories are returning, and that he’ll soon be cleared of the murder charges. At the pizzeria opening, Ian proposes marriage to Susan, who accepts; everyone’s happy for the couple but Mike.

A confused Gabrielle finds herself in bed with a nearly naked Zach! He explains they had sex. This news, combined with her hangover, makes her ill. She confesses her plight to Carlos, hoping he’ll help her push Zach away from wanting to be involved. At the pizzeria opening, Gabrielle pressures Carlos for help with Zach. In the bathroom, Carlos leans over to say something to Zach when he glances down and notices Zach’s crotch. Returning to Gabrielle, he tells his former wife she didn’t have sex with Zach, as she’d definitely remember it! Zach’s forced to admit the truth to Gabrielle after she turns down his marriage proposal. And Carlos tells Gabrielle he’s having a hard time being her friend and confidante.

Lynette learns Tom’s worried about the opening of his pizzeria. She insists on taking care of the last minute details. Those details include the arrival of the chairs. Lynette’s horrified to learn that the chairs ordered were high chairs. She scrambles to find replacements. Tom’s no more happy with his wife’s mistake than she is. But when the opening is a success, despite a variety of different chairs, Tom makes a point to thank his wife in his opening night speech.

MY HUSBAND, THE PIG

Written by Brian Alexander

Directed by Larry Shaw

Rex Van De Kamp takes Mary Alice's place for the week, to narrate on the life of the men.

Mike confronts Orson about his role in handing Mike the wrench that was used to kill Monique. Orson reminds Mike that he could turn Mike in to the police for throwing him off the roof, so Mike is better off not pursuing anything.

Ian presents Susan with a huge engagement ring . . . that does not fit her. She loves the ring, though, and wants to take it in to be refitted. Meanwhile, Mike picks up his own engagement ring to Susan at the hospital; he didn't remember it. Mike and Susan end up at the jewelers, where Susan realizes what Mike's doing. She ends up using Mike's ring to measure her ring size, and it fits perfectly! Mike, Ian, and the other men of Wisteria Lane play cards at Tom's pizzeria; the tension between Mike and Ian deepens when Mike reveals he knows Ian proposed the day he learned about Mike's engagement ring for Susan. The card game ends up between Ian and Mike, and a deal's forged: if Mike wins, he can tell Susan what Ian knew. If Ian wins, then Mike stays silent. Ian wins the game.

Carlos finds Edie on his doorstep with her son, Travers, who's been left with her for a month. She wants Carlos to watch Travers while she heads off to a party. But he has his own hot date planned and rebuffs Edie's efforts. Carlos' date involves the woman removing his clothes, but he's distracted to see Travers playing in the dark outside. His date comes to an abrupt end when Carlos insists on babysitting Travers. Edie shows up to pick up her son, but Carlos isn't happy with Edie for neglecting her son and won't let her take him til he wakes in the morning. When Edie shows up the next morning, she explains herself to Carlos: she gave up custody to her ex Charles because she knew he could provide a better life. And now she wants to spend the day with Travers.

Victor Lang sees Gabrielle crossing the street; he has his driver run into Gabrielle's car, then flirts with her under the pretense of giving her a five thousand dollar check. Gabrielle arrives at Victor's place, as the mayoral candidate purposely didn't sign his check. He convinces her to join him for dinner by noting he's worth millions. At the dinner, Gabrielle calls Victor on his deceptions, which she's seen through from the start. He thinks he's underestimated Gabrielle and professes his plans to pursue her, but she walks away. Victor's reaction is to say he's going to marry Gabrielle.

Austin gives Julie a letter he wants her to read, explaining himself. She takes it. Meanwhile, Andrew learns his sister Danielle is pregnant! Austin's informed of the pregnancy but he doesn't want to marry her and she won't go to a clinic. While she's vomiting in the bathroom, Austin makes up with Julie, sending her away before she can see Danielle. Before Orson can go to join Bree on their honeymoon, he learns about Danielle's pregnancy. The solution: Danielle will go with Orson and Bree, then give birth, give up her baby for adoption, and return home. Austin doesn't like this plan, especially when he's told he must leave Fairview without explanation. Andrew convinces him that doing so would be best for Julie, so Austin tells Julie he's leaving town for a while, and rides his motorcycle away.

Tom learns Lynette knows about his plans for their 9th anniversary . . . which she has cancelled. All she wants is to have a nice bath and go to sleep. He reluctantly agrees. But later he shares his romantic plans with Carlos, involving flowers, a limo driver, a horse drawn carriage, a great dinner, and sex. When Lynette learns Tom made plans after all, she is upset she won't get her night of rest, and Tom's to cancel plans again. But the cancellation doesn't go through as planned, and Lynette winds up stranded in the middle of nowhere for hours. Tom is deeply apologetic when he picks her up and takes her to a diner. But then it's her turn to apologize: she doesn't think they should forget about romance after all.

DRESS BIG

Written by Kevin Etten and Susan Nirah Jaffee

Directed by Matthew Diamond

Ian was worried about Susan's clumsiness, especially as she met his parents and proceeded to set his mom on fire accidentally. But the next problem came at dinner, where Ian's parents learned Susan was divorced, not a widow as they believed. Ian's mom believed in staying together with a husband, even if he cheated on her, as Karl did to Susan. Things became worse when Susan knocked Ian's mother down; going upstairs, Susan then found Ian's dad dressed in her robe and bra! She agreed not to tell anyone. Susan overheard Ian and his mother discussing Susan signing a pre-nup. Ian's mom wanted only for Ian, not Susan, to inherit their money in the event of a divorce. She mentioned finding Ian's dad having bought lingerie, believing Ian's dad was cheating on her, but Ian and Susan maintained that Ian was not like his father. In bed with Susan, Ian showed her the pre-nup, and convinced her to sign it, though Susan wasn't happy by Ian's apparent lack of trust in her. Susan started to sign the pre-nup in front of Ian and his parents, but Susan's pointed comments about telling Ian everything led Ian's dad to rip up the pre-nip, lest Susan reveal his crossdressing.

Frustrated by a memory he couldn't quite remember, Mike went to Susan in hopes of finding out details of the movie he recalled. It turned out his memory was not a movie but of the first night Susan and Mike spent together. Ian saw Susan and Mike share a moment. Mike told his hypnotherapist he didn't want to recover any more memories.

To her horror, Gabrielle's entire wardrobe was destroyed by water. On a date with Victor at his home, Gabrielle went inside for a sweater, only to discover Victor's ex-wife's glorious clothing, which she had been storing there. But Victor refused to let Gabrielle take one of his ex's dresses. Later, Gabrielle showed up at Victor's house, where the housekeeper let her in under the pretense of going to the bathroom. Gabrielle snuck into Victor's ex's closet and put on several dresses before sneaking out of the house again. On a date with Victor, Gabrielle went to the bathroom, only to meet Victor's ex, who recognized her dress. She made Gabrielle take off the dress, then punched Victor in the face. Gabrielle returned the dresses to Victor, who revealed he'd treated his ex like his mistress and ruined his marriage. Encouraged by Victor showing signs of humanity, Gabrielle agreed to another date with him.

Seeing Carlos and her son Travers playing together led Edie to set her sights on seducing Carlos. Edie bribed Travers to have him arrange for Carlos to come over. After sending Travers to bed, Edie tried to seduce Carlos, only to find he didn't want to ruin their friendship. Carlos admitted he was looking for a serious relationship, and didn't think Edie was. After Carlos mentioned that Edie had even used her own son as sex bait, Edie tossed Carlos out of her home. But when Carlos apologized to Edie for his comments, Edie told Carlos she wanted him to stop seeing party girl Edie, and see the vulnerable woman beneath. As she asked for this, Edie stripped off her clothes, ending with her wearing nothing. Carlos hugged Edie, and then later we saw them in bed.

Arriving at work without her hideous orange uniform, Lynette admitted she hated the orange shirt. But Tom insisted that she had to wear it. Tom caught her trying to convince the staff to complain about the shirts. Lynette and Tom argued, with Lynette arguing she needed to win sometimes. The argument ended with Lynette walking out on Tom as the pizzeria was about to open for the day. After talking with Susan and Gabrielle about what had happened, Lynette decided to leave the manager's position. She headed to the pizzeria to confront Tom, only to find him collapsed on the floor. After calling for help, Lynette told an unconscious Tom he couldn't die. At the hospital, Lynette learned Tom had collapsed due to back problems and would need surgery. Worse yet, Tom couldn't return to the restaurant for 4 to 5 months. Resigned to her fate at the pizzeria, Lynette put on the orange shirt.

LIAISONS

Written by Alexandra Cunningham and Jenna Bans

Directed by David Grossman

Carlos and Edie awaken from a night of bad sex. The next morning, Travers tells Edie he overheard Carlos on the phone talking about how Edie's bad in bed. Edie confronts Carlos, who admits what he said; she thinks he was bad too! He challenges her to a rematch, but this time, the sex is so bad it lands them injured in the hospital. This time, they both conclude to give up on trying to have anything together. But after a long day at the zoo with Travers, once he's in bed, Edie and Carlos look at the pictures from the day and once again end up in bed together. This time, the sex is great!

Victor brings Gabrielle home after a date. They haven't had sex, and the more Victor mentions it, the more Gabrielle's determined to wait. But she promises the sex will be memorable... Later, Gabrielle reluctantly attends Victor's campaign rally. Seeing him being so well received turns her on, leading her to take him to his limo and have sex with him for the first time. The next day, Gabrielle's upset to find Victor hasn't left her any messages. She talks this over with Susan and Edie, and Edie convinces her to make Victor jealous. To do this, Gabrielle brings her handyman to Victor's debate; Victor's flustered during the debate as Gabrielle has the handyman pretty much molest her. Gabrielle leaves the debate. Victor leaves many messages for Gabrielle this time, and shows up at her house to apologize. He also makes it clear that he doesn't want their relationship to be a game, and he's in love with her! Gabrielle's touched and the two reunite.

When Mike and Ian run into each other at a farmer's market, Ian's mad he keeps running into Mike. Is Mike following Susan? Mike maintains that Fairview's a small town and Ian should move to the city if he wants away from him. On the way home from the farmer's market, Ian tells Susan he wants them to move to London. Susan's so distracted by this news that she doesn't see a deer, and ends up driving the car into a lake. Ian and Susan get out of the car but when Susan learns Ian can't swim to shore as he doesn't know how, they wait until Mike arrives and swims in to save them. Later, Susan and Ian are ready for bed when Ian sees Susan has bought Mike a thank you gift. He's not happy about this and as he and Susan begin to have sex, his eyes go to the gift. We soon discover that Ian was unable to perform. Before they can try again another night, Susan agrees to move to London with Ian. But when she won't sell her house as she tells Ian everyone she loves is on Wisteria Lane, Ian ends their foreplay. He believes she's thinking about Mike. An upset Susan storms out and takes Mike's thank you gift to him. He accepts the gift -- and then kisses Susan! Susan hurries away and returns to Ian, who apologizes to Susan, promises to never be jealous again, and then kisses her.

Lynette's taking care of the pizzeria while Tom's gone, and isn't pleased by his efforts to help even from a distance. She's interviewing for a manager, and her first interviews are terrible. Her latest interview, with Rick Coletti, is more successful; he's charming and overqualified. At home, Tom learns Rick's also a former cocaine addict. Tom forbids Lynette from hiring him, over Lynette's objections. Tom's overbearing at home, where Mrs. Mccluskey has been hired to take care of him and the kids. He's so bad that Mrs. Mccluskey quits, dropping off the five kids at the pizzeria. Later, Tom's apologetic to Lynette, who's exhausted after a bad day at work dealing with the kids. Tom thinks they can make things better with sex...or whatever they can manage with Tom immobile from the waist down. This upsets Lynette, who walks out. Another day at the pizzeria is Lynette's worst day yet, and Lynette collapses in tears when a customer complains about her calzones. Rick, who had just been turned down for the job, jumps into help, and Lynette gives him the job anyway.

Mrs. McCluskey talks to her husband aloud as if he was alive, as she's going about her day. Later, while she's again talking to her husband, we see inside her freezer . . . where his body is buried.

GOD, THAT'S GOOD

Written by Josh Senter and Dahvi Waller

Directed by Larry Shaw

Thanks to a power outage, Mrs. McCluskey stumbles and falls. As she's being led away, she fears someone will discover what's in her basement freezer, and she only goes off with the ambulance when she sees the power's returned. Unfortunately, the freezer shorts out. Later, Parker goes into the basement hoping to get himself and his brother a snack, and he sees what's hidden inside. When Parker and Lynette visit Mrs. McCluskey in the hospital, Mrs. McCluskey privately explains herself to Parker, who agrees to silence. But when a neighbor goes into the house, the body is discovered and Mrs. McCluskey is arrested.

Lynette's pleased with Rick Coletti's work at the pizzeria, as he manages to whip something up even with the power out. But Tom's less certain about Rick's work, especially as Rick's cooking seems fancier than Tom wanted. But Lynette's on Rick's side entirely, especially as Rick's bringing in more money. A rave review from a newspaper for Rick's work deflates Tom, who's still stuck at home. Lynette only has eyes for Rick; after he asks her if she ever wears her hair down, she does just that the next time she leaves for work.

Gabrielle and Victor are stuck in an elevator thanks to the power outage; Gabrielle uses the time for sex, which they end suddenly as the power returns. Neither realizes they were caught by the security camera. The next day, over breakfast, Gabrielle rebuffs Victor's marriage proposal. Later, when a man shows up with a package for Victor, Gabrielle opens it and realizes Victor's being blackmailed! She tackles the blackmailer and has him hauled off by the police, who also takes the photos as evidence. What Gabrielle doesn't reallize is that the chief of police is related to the current mayor, so the photos make the paper anyway. Victor's popularity in the polls plummets; at a press conference, Victor is saved as Gabrielle introduces herself, then says she has agreed to marry Victor. This news renews Victor's popularity.

Carlos and Edie are still together, though Carlos doesn't want anyone learning about the relationship . . . after all, his roommate Mike and Edie dated recently! The couple begins having sex in houses Edie's meant to be selling, but that only lasts so long, as a realtor catches them in the act. Edie's mad at Carlos when she realizes he doesn't want Gabrielle to know about them. Later, she comforts Carlos when he hears about Gabrielle's engagement.

Ian's jealousy over Mike is gone . . . so gone, in fact, that he wants to invite Mike over to dinner. Susan's unsure about this. But when Susan learns her caterer Maggie is available, she invites Maggie as Mike's date. At the dinner, Mike wants nothing to do with Maggie and emphasizes his criminal past in front of her. Susan maintains with Mike that she's with Ian now. But when forced to choose between a classic British cake and a simple American cake, Susan's unable to decide . . . between the cakes or the men. Mike admits to Ian that he wants Susan back, and as Mike and Ian argue, Susan learns Ian won her in a poker game weeks before. Furious with both men, Susan calls off her wedding and sends them both away.

GOSSIP

Written by John Pardee & Joey Murphy; directed by Wendey Stanzler

Gabrielle’s enjoying her engagement party until Edie admits she’s involved with Carlos. The next day, Gabrielle confronts Edie, who refuses to end things with Carlos. Gabrielle urges Susan and Lynette to shut Edie out of their lives, and they reluctantly agree. But when Edie realizes what’s happening, she takes action, asking Lynette to cater Travers’ birthday party. Lynette agrees. Lynette and Susan both end up working at the birthday party, secure knowing that Gabrielle’s gone for the day. But Gabrielle returns home without warning and realizes the women are at the party. She’s furious with them. Carlos drags her off and confronts his ex. He admits he’s dating Edie but isn’t in love with her. Gabrielle’s willing to let Carlos date Edie, knowing he still belongs to her at heart.

Everyone’s talking about Mrs. McCluskey’s arrest. Parker seems affected when he sees her house has been defaced. He visits her house wanting her back as a babysitter, but she insists on waiting til everyone stops talking about her dead husband’s body in her freezer. Parker’s even more upset when the boys again deface her front door. Why won’t she reveal everything? Mrs. McCluskey finally opens up to the neighborhood women . . . she found her husband’s dead body, learned that his first wife and not her was going to get his pension checks, and so she stored the body in the freezer and kept cashing the checks. Lynette asks Mrs. McCluskey to babysit again.

Susan refuses to speak to either Ian or Mike, making Julie speak in her behalf to send the men away. Later, when a man steals her parking spot, Susan acts out, stealing the man’s keys, getting into his car, and then trying to smash his head in his own window, before the police catch her. At court-ordered therapy, Susan insists she’s fine, til the therapist asks about her love life. Breaking down, she confesses to being unable to choose between Ian and Mike, both of whom she loves. The therapist says it would be stupid to choose neither men…she has to decide! Susan tells Mike she’s made up her mind . . . she’s marrying Ian. This doesn’t please Mike. Ian, on the other hand, is ecstatic and he and Susan prepare for a night together. But when Ian hears Susan listening to a message Mike left on her answering machine, he realizes he and Susan aren’t meant to be together. He breaks things off with Susan, telling her she may love him . . . but she loves Mike a bit more, and he can’t live with that. Susan learns Mike moved away overnight…has she lost him forever now?

Lynette enjoys a dinner with Rick at the pizzeria instead of going home, even as she lies to Tom on the phone about what she’s doing. When Kayla wonders why Lynette’s been gone so often lately, Lynette lies, claiming she’s been busy at work. Kayla sees through the lie, recognizing Lynette’s tell -- an awkward laugh -- when she lies. Rick asks Lynette to join him one night at another restaurant to test out the food; initially she turns down the offer, but then agrees. But before Lynette can go out with Rick, Tom and the kids arrive at the pizzeria for dinner. Kayla sees a look between Rick and Lynette, and later, she tells her father what she saw between them. Tom tells Lynette he wants to go back to work, which will allow them to let go of Rick, but Lynette’s against it, and Tom clearly wonders if something’s up between Rick and his wife.

INTO THE WOODS

Written by Alexandra Cunningham; directed by David Grossman

TEASER

Lynette and Rick are enjoying a dinner at the pizzeria; she admits this is the highlight of her day, and he agrees. Two men enter with guns, and force Lynette and Rick into the freezer. She panics; he warms her by holding her.

ACT ONE

Gabrielle's finishing up shopping with Vern when she clashes with a meter man who tickets her for not feeding her meter. Gabrielle's mad.

Susan convinces Carlos to tell her where Mike went; he's gone into the woods before he moves back East. Against Julie's advice, Susan plans on finding him.

Carlos makes plans with Edie and Travers to visit the batting cage. Edie's ex-husband arrives to pick up Travers. Carlos is disappointed he can't spend more time with Edie and seems uninterested in spending more time with Edie.

The morning after the robbery, Tom awakens to find Lynette gone. He finds her and Rick in the freezer, not realizing they spent the night cuddling for warmth. Later, when Tom, Lynette, Rick, and a police officer check out the security camera, Tom sees Lynette and Rick's intimate dinner.

ACT TWO

Victor wins his election. Gabrielle's happy for him, especially when she learns that as mayor's wife she can make things like parking tickets go away.

Edie learns Carlos is busy for the next few days, now that Travers is going away. He wants to take her out on her birthday . . . two weeks away.

Susan asks a park ranger for a map. He realizes she's incredibly unprepared for a 2 day hike, and gets her a guide named Toni to take her.

Over dinner at a restaurant, Tom asks Rick if he's sleeping with Lynette. Rick denies this. But Tom wants Rick to quit; Rick realizes Tom can't fire him as Lynette would be against it. Rick won't agree, even as Tom says he'll stand by Lynette no matter what, and Rick will never be with Lynette.

ACT THREE

Edie brings Travers a puppy. He's ecstatic -- and then he reminds his mother his father's allergic. The solution: Travers will spend more time visiting Edie. Edie suggests joint custody, and Travers wants that. Edie tells her son to not mention to his father the idea came from her.

Susan's told Toni all about her many problems getting together with Mike. Toni's clearly tired of hearing all of this, especially as Susan's hopeless in the woods. She thinks Susan is a drama queen who won't be able to be happy if Mike takes her back. The next morning, Toni awakens to learn Susan's left without her.

ACT FOUR

When Gabrielle sees the meter man again, she makes a scene, tossing away the new ticket he writes her as well as the others he's left. For her efforts, Gabrielle's arrested.

Susan's trying to find Mike, but first she needs to figure out which way is north. She falls...

Travers tells his dad he wants Edie to have joint custody. Edie's ex confronts her, and doesn't want to give in to her demands. Edie threatens to sue for full custody. Carlos hears the fight and the ex tells him he's not sure why Edie decided she wanted more than 2 weeks a year with Travers.

Rick tells Lynette that Tom confronted him over his feelings for her. Lynette tries to act casual about this until Rick admits he's interested in her and knows she likes him too. Crying, Lynette admits she flirted with Rick but would never cross a line with him, and now Rick can't work there anymore. She demands he leave.

ACT FIVE